Adam Kadmon
I have read that the spirit of Adam Kadmon, primordial man, is supposed to be the highest level of spirituality, yet I lack knowledge and understanding of what primordial man is supposed to be like. And, perhaps that is the way it should be. For those whom haven’t read Judaism for Dummies, Adam Kadmon is a term used in Jewish Kabbalah. The subject matter of Kabbalah is generally considered appropriate for those whom are 40 years of age and older, and/or those whom have mastered Torah, which is kind of absurd because as legend would have it, Adam, when he appeared in the Garden of Eden had the appearance of being about 20 years old. Furthermore, Kabbalah delves into things that are science, and my dad found it appropriate to begin teaching me these things as a child. For example, he would bring home chemicals from work and teach me about them, once even teaching me how to make a stink bomb using a sulfur compound. To study Adam Kadmon is to mystically study life the life of Adam in the Garden of Eden before sin entered the world through what is known as The Fall of Man. Thus, Adam Kadmon is the idea of Adam before he ate the forbidden fruit that his wife gave him, but that G-d had told him not to eat.
These sorts of ideas are important. It is important to question things such as: what was humanity like before the time of farming? And, what was humanity and creation like before anyone had yet sinned? Thus, Kabbalah often brings up important subjects that are relevant, but can only be addressed with a certain level of maturity. For example, a Light that created light and darkness is discussed a great deal in Kabbalah, such that it is even suggested that Jewish mystics originated the idea of the Big Bang far before modernity had even thought of it. In fact, Kabbalists say that this Light is another name for G-d, which is interesting because that would mean that time preexisted G-d, as the sages say that the Torah is chronological. The first word of the Bible is translated, “When,” and it precedes the Ayn Soph, which I translate as the Light that illumines lights. The Jewish rendering of the opening of the book of Genesis is, “When G-d began to…” This is very similar to the idea in Greek mythology that Chronos is the ancestor of Zeus. However, before there was G-d, the cosmos had yet to be organized. Thus, sometimes I also refer to G-d as a Cosmic Organizer. Yet, with the study of Light, it may be studied infinitely and still not yet completely grasped. That is the nature of Kabbalah. Also, ideas such as wisdom, knowledge and understanding are in Kabbalah. Christians often refer to these as spiritual gifts, but Kabbalah looks far more deeply at them than Christianity. In my experience, most people don’t know what wisdom means, but my experience is primarily with Christians. Wisdom, chochmah in Hebrew, also translates as craftiness. Without understanding (binah in Hebrew), wisdom is absurd, mere mumblings of virtual nonsense that keep the wise out of trouble. However, if someone speaks with both wisdom and understanding, they have true knowledge, but there is also knowledge of good and evil, and so on. In Hebrew, knowledge, or da’at, is somewhere between the expansiveness of wisdom, and the contraction of understanding. Yet, the study of Light, even though it is no longer available, having been divided into light and darkness according to the Bible, still exists outside of the cosmos, continually operates as a Cosmic Organizer that we can’t see, but that we should have faith in, such is the idea of heaven. Why are such things as Light, wisdom, knowledge and understanding important then? Study of such things can result in the creation of new invention, such as that of a remote control for your VCR. The invention of the remote control operates by infrared light that we can’t see, not to be mistaken with the Ayn Soph though if you believe in the Bible historically infrared light was derived from the Ayn Soph. Thus, meditation on the idea that Light was separated into light and darkness is the root of a VCR remote control. It took wisdom, chochmah, to conceive of the idea of a remote control. Yet, before the control had been made, it was not a complete idea. It had to be constricted within the laws of the cosmos. It is understanding, binah, of the cosmos that allows one to refine the raw idea of a remote control into something that actually works.
This is my stab at knowledge of what Adam Kadmon is. Adam Kadmon is a gatherer (in proverbial Eden [an abundant garden of pleasure planted by G-d]), and G-d gives Adam Kadmon one command, which he either chooses to obey or disobey. Thus, he, Adam Kadmon, is neither as Abel, who hunted, or Cain, who farmed, but that Adam Kadmon is the idea of humanity before the time of hunting and farming, and before the time when humanity disobeyed G-d.
For understanding, I present the question: can I still use my electronic coffee maker or drive a car and attain this level of spirituality? That is, what is not the level of Adam Kadmon? And, more importantly, do I even want to know? Is technology the antithesis manliness, and the highest level of spirituality?
In a brief background of my life: I have mental illness. I did nothing to deserve this. I committed idolatry without knowing what it was or that I had done wrong. In fact, from what I was taught, I thought I had done right because my mom had always taught me to try my hardest, and this seemed to make sense because it always seemed like I was hopelessly behind, and that literally working myself to death would be my best hope of salvation.
It is a wonder that I didn’t commit suicide, yet I feel sympathy toward my mother. She had a son that was very sick, and she did the best she knew how, at least she claims, in trying to habilitate me into living a productive life. Had she not pressed me to work with all my might, I would not know a lot of the things I know today though I cannot claim gratefulness to her for teaching me that. Thus, I believe it is that trying too hard can cause someone to commit idolatry, a really unpleasant lesson to experience.
Upon committing idolatry, another G-d spoke out. I hallucinated that G-d said, “I am punishing you.” I retorted, “Why are you punishing me?” There were no witnesses at the time I committed idolatry. I called my parents. Then, I called 9-11 because I became paranoid that someone was poisoning me with carbon monoxide.
My hallucination of the voice of G-d caused me to fear G-d and follow G-d wholeheartedly. I moved, and ridded myself of the idol god. Then, through seeing good doctors, I was very much habilitated (because I don’t even remember a time when I wasn’t sick prior to the habilitation, such that it was not rehabilitation). I got a job working in science, making achievements beyond my previous wildest dreams.
When I left my place of work, I hallucinated again, this time it was G-d giving me a command/statement, “Retired.” Thus, now I fear disobeying the voice. I understand that medical professionals tell their patients not to listen to voices, yet it would seem that following G-d wholeheartedly has brought me many of my dreams, such as having a wife and a son. I know G-d gave Adam a command, which he disobeyed, and was punished for, and I don’t want to do the same, eating from the proverbial tree of knowledge, disobeying G-d by getting another job. I also know that sometimes I hear other voices, and that all these voices are probably generated from within me, even though it doesn’t seem that they come from within.
Currently, I work as a blogger and doing maintenance at a local motel. I have great fear of doing these things. Though I have written thousands of pages (where a page is 250 words), generally about 1,000 a year, I have only made a few pennies, as a blogger. I can’t receive a check until I make $100, and I am fearful of actually making money at this. I do not seek publication (except electronic publication) because I don’t want to waste the paper. Paper is made up of precious cells, and I do not want to be a part of the slaughter of trees. The work I do as maintenance is usually only during the summer. I work regretfully about once every two weeks mowing the lawn. I would prefer not to mow lawns because I feel that it is a needless exercise that ruins precious topsoil. Also, I feel that it is okay to do this because I have not asked for compensation for my work. My boss is in a predicament, where he has stated that he would prefer not to have the financial responsibility for his place of work, but that he bought it for a relative that has now left it to him to pay off. Thus, the lawn needs to be mowed if he is to get customers, and the real estate market is such that the business wouldn’t sell. This is such that I call myself semi-retired. My main work is in raising my son. Raising my son is not really having a job because he is dependant. I also suffer from paranoia of my boss at the local motel, as my mind tells me that my bosses’ name is a code for the idea that he can ask me to do anything and I won’t become a polytheist.
Except for blogging, the work that I do seems to blow up in my face, and in my history that would have bothered me, but now secretly I hope that it happens, such that I can fulfill the command/statement of the Lord. For example, by family pressure I got a job working with septic systems as a temporary worker, yet though I tried, I did not get hired to a permanent position. Though this might be viewed as a failure, secretly it makes me happy because I still feel that I have not transgressed G-d’s command/statement to be retired. I have worked with Chinese medicine, but felt myself incapable of doing the job (one of the medicines that I had to work with caused me to crap in my pants on the spot even though I was wearing a mask). I have worked with a gas powered wood splitter, asking for compensation, cutting up firewood, but I injured my hand. I had to quit due to too much paranoia. I put on a tar roof, but I threw out the muscles with my hand, and had to get rehabilitation. I was not taught guitar correctly, such that I injured it from playing too much in high school, and that injury had lasted all the way up until present, yet from time to time even though I don’t use it very much it still bothers me. I wanted to become a guitar teacher, but the neck of a newly bought guitar, the only guitar I had at the time, had become floppy. I did some construction work, but I became paranoid of the boss, such that I thought that he was tunneling under my apartment in order to break in.
When I did carpentry and asked for no compensation, but received compensation, everything worked out well. When I work for my parents and ask for no compensation, everything has worked out well. When I cleaned horse stalls, asking for no compensation, possibly everything worked out well. I also receive a Social Security check, SSD, which is the same as what one gets when he/she is retired. I did not ask for this on my own, but was prodded by my family. I consider it important to be a contributing member of society, such that I take the money I receive from Social Security very seriously, trying to payback what I receive from the government to the world with my semi-retired activities.
