Observing Shabbat

Observing Shabbat

When I became more interested in observance, the first thing I wanted to do was observe Shabbat. For years I recognized the day. Even when I was at a Christian college, I recognized Shabbat. That was the day I took it easy. My Christian friends said Sunday, and I said Friday night to Saturday Evening. Had I said otherwise, I may not have even looked to Judaism. I was taking an Old Testament class at the time, and at one point the Professor asked, “Is anyone here Jewish?” I didn’t raise my hand, but I was very interested in Judaism at the time. During this period, I was trying to figure if I could salvage any of the New Testament. Did any of it make sense? To me the Torah made sense, though I questioned some parts of it, but the New Testament was different. I wondered if I could believe in any of it. I ended up concluding that the books of James and Philemon were decent, but hardly authoritative.

For me the question of whether or not Christianity was true or Judaism was true was not easy. I had to read all the books. Cross-reference everything. Scrutinize the texts. Read the scholarly literature. Again, and again I was coming to the conclusion that Christianity wasn’t right for me. No, I was particular, the way Jews are about the Torah. Christianity did not leave any room for particulars. For example, I could clearly see that by the text Shabbat should begin when the sun goes down, given the way Genesis reads. Christianity didn’t say Saturday night was also Shabbat. It didn’t begin at night. How could this make any sense? Then, there were the other things I was never able to accept, such as the idea that Jesus was God. For me Christianity was wading in verses that all seemed to contradict each other.

Finally, I thought to myself. I will write until I can figure out this idea of being saved. Like a Jew, I wanted to consider all the possibilities. Out of this writing, on soteriorology, the word used for the study of salvation or the “Holy Spirit,” I found myself finding nothing but contradictions. I found all the verses and none of it could make sense to me anymore. Christians could just say to me, accept the idea of salvation on faith, that we just can’t understand the nature of God and that the scriptures contained mystery. I feel the same way about observing Shabbat now.

There is a part of me that says, I want to observe Shabbat, but then there is a part of me that does not want to be “That house.” That is the house that is caught up in some sort of mystery, the house where the lights are turned off on Friday night, as the normal people with cars with thumping stereos and headlights drive by. Much like my readings of the New Testament the world of confusion that we live in is the one with the cars, the headlights, and the thumping stereos. How can this be rest, if we can’t find peace on this day but living in a vacation area Shabbat is perhaps the liveliest night? It is the night where we often see the police lights pulling over cars for drinking and driving. That is normal, but we would be, “That house,” if we observed Shabbat. We would be the house that does not fit in.

I don’t really care too much about what people think, though I indicate it here. It’s more along the lines of, “What are we supposed to think?” The headlights, the cars and the stereos are all theoretically transgressions. They spoil the peace and debase the day. Granted, goyim aren’t required to observe this day. I know this because I tried to observe Shabbat. There is a part of Torah that commands to go with the flow. I can’t remember where to find it, but it is there. In that command coupled with peace, I find the greatest peace going with the flow on that night. If I go with the flow, then the headlights, cars and stereos don’t bother me.

I do take it easy that night, Friday night, but I don’t do anything that would make us, “That house.” Somewhere in this buzzing world a harmony is found by not being over righteous. That means; it’s okay to recognize Shabbat, and rest on that day though I will not be able to find peace in the Talmudic idea of Shabbat. All the little laws get in the way. It’s not that they are wrong, but they are against the flow. All the other days I can go with or against the flow, as I please. However, on this day, I go with the flow, and in that I find rest.